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Black Lace

Posted by Big Boo on September 5th, 2007

Black LaceBlack Lace are responsible for more heinous music than you can shake a big stick at, and whilst The Birdie Song may have the dubious honour of starting the make-an-idiot-of-yourself disco section at weddings, it’s the guys from Black Lace that drag it out to a full half hour or so. Every song they did had “actions” to go with it, which for some reason everybody knows – they must be tapping into some primal urge to look like a complete fool on the dance floor that resides in all of us somewhere. Not me, you say! Well, maybe not now, but if the evidence at weddings is anything to go by, wait until your a grandparent or old uncle or aunt…

Anyway, they are best known for their hit Agadoo. You know it, and the dance, even though you don’t want to. It’s a song with a touching holiday romance story attached to it, with some guy going to Waikiki and falling for one of the local beauties, who taught him to dance in the moonlight. All very romantic sounding, except the dance involves waving your arms back and forth, jumping up and down and going “to the knees”, whatever that means.

Unfortunately it doesn’t end there. We also have Superman, a song which only exists in order to serve a range of actions such as hitching a ride, spraying your armpits, swimming, “macho man” (i.e. flexing your biceps) which culminate in Superman, basically pretending to fly about as if you had a giant ‘S’ emblazoned on your chest. There’s also Do The Conga, which instructs everyone to hold on to the hips of the person in front of them and walk all around the wedding reception venue like a train. Speaking of which, I’m sure Black Lace must have covered The Locomotion as well. If not, it was a missed oppurtunity for them, leaving it down to Kylie to do the honours.

The reign of terror over the music charts continues with covers (well, I think they were covers) of The Hokey Cokey and The Music Man, but this time with both actions and words that (loosely) sound like the noises of musical instruments. OK, I can go with “oompah oompah oompah-pah” for a Tuba, but “pia-pia-piano” is stretching things a little.

The funniest story I heard about Black Lace was that involving The Chicken Song, the mickey-taking single from the TV show Spitting Image which was based on Black Lace themselves. Apparently Black Lace asked if they could do a cover of it themselves! Whether this is true, and if it is whether they realised it was a spoof of themselves I don’t know, but I like to think that it is…

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