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Posted by Big Boo on August 3rd, 2009

quatroThe word quatro (or perhaps more correctly quattro) was strangely popular during the 1980’s for some reason. There was leather clad rock chick Suzi Quatro, and the Audi Quattro, most recently made popular again by DCI Gene Hunt in Ashes to Ashes.

Software house Borland even named a spreadsheet program Quattro, the idea being that Quattro, meaning four in Italian, was one better than three, thus making their piece of software better than the then market leader in the spreadsheet market Lotus 1-2-3. I think perhaps that this particular one needs too much explanation.

However, possibly even worse than the number crunching software was a fizzy drink called Quatro. Packaged in a white can with four coloured squares (green, orange, yellow and reddish orange) and a stylised white letter Q, Quatro was a mixed fruit flavoured carbonated drink.

So far so good then.  It even had a rather cool TV advert which looked like a mixture of Tron and Bladerunner, with a bit of Duran Duran video thrown in for good measure.  According to this advert the drink supposedly consisted of pineapple, orange, plum and grapefruit (or possibly melon, the video I found on YouTube is a little grainy and it’s hard to be sure exactly what those last two fruits actually were), and this is where things start to go wrong.

Quatro, you see, was a very interesting bright green colour.  It was the sort of colour that you can imagine the slime to be that converted ordinary pet turtles in turtles of the ninja (or hero) variety.  Quite how the four featured fruits could combine to produce green I don’t know, which leads me to conclude that Quatro must have been full of all kinds of wonderful colourings and E-numbers, and this is probably the reason why it is no longer available.

To be honest I can’t quite remember what it tasted like.  I don’t remember having that many cans of the stuff so I’m guessing it was mediocre at best, so I think it’s safe to say that this is one thing from the eighties which nobody is particularly going to mourn over.  And to think they had the audacity to give it the slogan “It’s a miracle, but we’ve made it“.