One of the things I’ve always liked about Christmas is the singing of Christmas Carols. My earliest memories of singing Christmas Carols at primary school were of the whole school going into the assembly hall and singing carols, with the words provided thanks to the schools overhead projector and some acetate sheets.
Whilst I enjoyed (and still do enjoy) listening to and singing good old traditional Christmas songs, I also remember that I used to find the alternative lyrics, that somehow all kids end up knowing, quite amusing. So, in honour of those funny lyrics, here are my favourite messed about with Christmas songs, but if you know any others, then please leave them in a comment on this post!
Good King Wenceslas
This was one of the carols that you could even mess around with when singing the correct lyrics, over emphasising the Brrrr when it got to “bring me flesh and bring me wine“. There were also plenty of giggles with “heat was in the very sod” since sod was sort of a swear word. Anyway, here is the alternate version:-
In his cabbage garden,
Bumped into a Brussels Sprout,
And said I beg your pardon.
There are several variations to this one, but the one I remember best is:-
Robin laid an egg,
The Batmobile lost its wheel,
On the Motorway.
While Shepherds Watch Their Flocks By Night
You surely can’t fail to remember this one…
All seated round the tub,
The angel of the Lord came down,
And gave them all a scrub.
Little Drummer Boy
Actually, I don’t think you need to change the lyrics with this one to get school kids sniggering.
We Three Kings of Orient Are
Another favourite that everybody seemed to know…
One in a taxi, one in a car,
One on a scooter, blowing his hooter,
Wearing his girlfriends bra.