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One of the things I’ve always liked about Christmas is the singing of Christmas Carols. My earliest memories of singing Christmas Carols at primary school were of the whole school going into the assembly hall and singing carols, with the words provided thanks to the schools overhead projector and some acetate sheets.
Whilst I enjoyed (and still do enjoy) listening to and singing good old traditional Christmas songs, I also remember that I used to find the alternative lyrics, that somehow all kids end up knowing, quite amusing. So, in honour of those funny lyrics, here are my favourite messed about with Christmas songs, but if you know any others, then please leave them in a comment on this post!
Good King Wenceslas
This was one of the carols that you could even mess around with when singing the correct lyrics, over emphasising the Brrrr when it got to “bring me flesh and bring me wine“. There were also plenty of giggles with “heat was in the very sod” since sod was sort of a swear word. Anyway, here is the alternate version:-
In his cabbage garden,
Bumped into a Brussels Sprout,
And said I beg your pardon.
Jingle Bells
There are several variations to this one, but the one I remember best is:-
Robin laid an egg,
The Batmobile lost its wheel,
On the Motorway.
While Shepherds Watch Their Flocks By Night
You surely can’t fail to remember this one…
All seated round the tub,
The angel of the Lord came down,
And gave them all a scrub.
Little Drummer Boy
Actually, I don’t think you need to change the lyrics with this one to get school kids sniggering.
We Three Kings of Orient Are
Another favourite that everybody seemed to know…
One in a taxi, one in a car,
One on a scooter, blowing his hooter,
Wearing his girlfriends bra.
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:56 am
I remember a couple of those too, but with differing lyrics:
Good King Wenceslas
Good King Wenceslas looked out,
from his bedroom window,
Silly bugger he fell out,
On a red-hot cinder.
Brightly shone his bum that night,
Though the frost was cruel.
blah, blah, blah (don’t remember the last bit…)
Jingle Bells
Jingle bells, Batman smells,
Robin flew away,
Kojak lost his lollipop,
And found it the next day.
January 4th, 2010 at 9:21 pm
I’ve not heard that version of Good King Wenceslas before, but it’s a good one!
January 17th, 2010 at 3:18 pm
I don’t remember the above mentioned parody of “While Shepherds Watched Their Flock By Night”. The parodised version of it I first heard at primary school was:
While shepherds wash their socks by night,
A-watching ITV,
The angel of the Lord came down,
And switched to BBC.
As if they had television when Jesus was born!